Help

For some strange freakin reason im turning into a blond idk what the deal is but its pissing me off. Im not stupid but I think im coming off that way and LORD help. Speaking of which I need to get back in the bible. But ok so last night I hung out with the boys again but this wasn't as fun honestly all Him/crush. Wanted to do was FUCK and im not with that he skipped past kissing and all that other shit. I just don't know what to do anymore. Lord help I know it has been a minute and I really need to work on that . I think that's also a big part of my unhappiness it just feels like something is missing from my life spiritually and in other aspects and I think it's the Lord and our relationship. Lord knows I wanted my Crush but I just don't think that's gonna happen. He seems kinda jerky.

Just another single girl moment